10 practical ways God prepares you for marriage WHILE Single
Marriage doesn’t just happen
God will usually prepare those who are going to be married before it happens. Here are 10 ways he has been preparing me for my marriage season (which I believe is really close!)
How God prepares you for marriage
1. A change in friendships
When I entered my phase of marriage preparation, my friendships changed. Whereas before most of my friends were single or not interested in dating, overnight it seemed like all of my friends and family were either in a serious relationship or married
I found myself clinging to married people and listening to all of the wisdom they were bestowing about having successful marriages. I learned so much and it really changed my view of singleness.
During your season you may notice a similar thing. One of the biggest things that may occur is pruning.
Pruning is when a farmer cuts off dead leaves to produce growth. Sometimes we let in people who drain/steal our resources and energy, so God has to remove them for us to grow.
2. Building your community
Your community will be a great teacher. They teach you how to manage your anger, how to manage conflict, and how to deal with having tough conversations. I appreciate the people in my circle so much and I wouldn’t be the same person without them. Your family is also a part of your community and God will often use them to teach you patience.
During this time you might also start meeting people and creating friendships that are based on more long-lasting things.
3. You will Get closer to God
Sometime during your single season, your future spouse may be revealed and confirmed to you. During this time, it is imperative that you are able to hear from God. The only way you can hear him speaking, though, is by having your heart and spirit open to what he has to say. Gods voice is still and small and oftentimes it will get drowned out by the chaos and the back and forth of everyday life.
4. He will start encouraging you to start putting yourself out there
During my marriage preparation season, God encouraged me to start going to a run club and to participate in ballet. Meeting people in your 20’s is difficult because everyone is at different stages. Some people are getting married and moving to states or countries, while others are still living in their parents house while unemployed. This can make meeting people in your 20s very difficult.
Through running club and ballet I met many amazing people who I am still close with to this day, and it encouraged me to start exploring other forms of community. I also now feel encouraged because when I get married, I will have hobbies that I love to be involved with which will help me to keep my individuality.
5. He will encourage you to start wedding planning
My cousins, who both got married recently, advised me to make a Pinterest board of all of the things I wanted for my wedding. So for the past year I have been planning my wedding down to the way I want my hair
This has been helpful for me in 2 ways. Number one, it has given me a sense of hope and something to look forward to. Standing for your kingdom spouse is hard and it can be frustrating because you cannot see what you know has been promised to you in the physical yet. And this makes it easy to give up. But when you have boards, it acts as a way to ground you. And it gives you something to connect with others.
Number two, it has given me a sense of peace because I know that when marriage comes about it will happen quickly. One thing that differs in kingdom marriages is that they usually have very quick timelines. Time as friends. A year or so of dating. A six-month engagement and then marriage. This means you can meet someone and be married in less than 2 years.
Imagine if you had never looked at wedding items a day in your life. You may be easily overwhelmed by the hundreds of choices you have to make. Especially as a girlie with adhd.
6. Sanctification
Part of the pruning process is sanctification. I described this in this video, but sanctification is the process of God molding your heart and your will to be more like his. A big part of this is dressing more modestly.
Your clothing is like the outside of a fruit. It signals what’s inside and whether or not it is able to be eaten. I noticed that when I was dressing immodestly, I would attract guys who were pursuing worldly intentions, even though I would talk about being a christian.
Once I became sanctified, dressing modestly became easier because my heart posture changed. The goal in dressing is to help keep not only our minds pure, but the minds of our brothers and sisters in christ pure as well (Romans 14:13-23).
7. He will lead you to verses about preparing to be a wife
One of the most common verses of these is proverbs 31, which actually is more metaphorical than it is literal. But God has also been walking me through the stories of Rebecca and Isaac and of Ruth and Boaz. God can use many verses of scriptures to encourage you as you walk along this journey of preparing for marriage.
Action steps God may have you to take
8. Pray for your future spouse
This one is important. Prayer works. The bible tells us to pray without ceasing. Which means that we need to be consulting God and covering our future spouses. Even if you don’t know who your spouse is you can pray for them.
I used this book “31 prayers for your Future Spouse” and it has been a great starting point for me.
9. God may ask you to improve yourself
Marriage is best when two parties come together in their imperfections and set a goal to let God lead both of them towards each other and him. When you are in your single season, God may challenge you to improve yourself in small and big ways.
He may challenge you to stop cursing and to get rid of vulgar words.
He may ask you to deal with any hurt or grudges you may be holding onto.
This is not easy, but God sees and knows anything, and he doesn’t want to put you in a situation that will break you.
10. God may call you to take leaps of faith
I have a confession to make. I have already went wedding ring and wedding dress shopping (tho I didn’t buy anything). Both of these things I did strictly in obedience, but it was an amazing experience. I feel so happy to know that I have an idea of exactly what type of wedding dresses and wedding rings I like.
Wedding Dress Shopping Tips
ð Go on a weekday when it is not busy: The people in these shops are commissioned sales personnel. So, if you are not buying a dress (or you are not sure, because you are single), it is best to go at a time when you won’t be stopping a sales personnel from making money. During the weekdays, the shops are usually much emptier, and it will be a more peaceful experience.
ð Take a friend or family member with you. Putting on wedding dresses is very labor intensive. Thankfully, I had someone who helped me to put on and take off the dresses. But I could not imagine if I didn’t have anyone to go with me and to help me with taking off and putting on the dresses
ð Say please and thank you
ð Grab a few different sizes or ask. Because the clothes sizing is 1-2 sizes smaller than the actual street clothes size. You may be surprised to know that most stores wont allow you to take off and put on the dresses yourself.
ð If you can, take pictures of the dresses that you like
ð Try on a max of 7 dresses in one shop. This is actually a lot of dresses.
Why go wedding dress shopping while single
- To Get an idea on the amount of money you want to be saving up: This is one of the most important reasons to go dress shopping. Usually, if God is telling you to go dress shopping it is because he knows your wedding is coming soon. So it is likely time to start putting money away for your wedding. The wife’s family is usually the one who pays for the wedding dress so It is important to know how much you might want to save up.
- To Find your own styles because what you like and what you think you may like is different: So, when I was looking at wedding dresses on pinterest I thought I would want a princess style dress with a long train. But when I tried on dresses I quickly realized that I didn’t like the feeling of tulle. So, I know now that my wedding dress has to have a minimal train.
- Knowing your size makes everything quicker
- To Finetune Pinterest board
A Warning: Watch what you say
How you speak is who you are. Try to speak only positively about your future spouse, and future marriage and be careful about who you spill your business to. A lot of people will get caught up in trying to “spill the tea” about their future marriage and will end up spreading word curses on their marriage unintentionally.
A Prayer For You 💬
Dear Lord, thank you for whoever is reading this. I thank you that you are leading them forward into the marriage that they are supposed to be apart of. I pray that you would help them to not settle for anything less than what you have for them. I also pray that you would provide them with amazing friends and community to walk through this process with them.
Amen.
If this blog resonated with you, please share it with someone else walking through this season. And if you want more encouragement on standing, prayer, and relationships, let me know in the comments—I’ve got so much more to say.
Until next time, stay faithful, stay focused, and remember to share the love of Jesus with at least one person this week.
For more Singleness advice, Buy your copy of Since When did Single Mean Sad :)
With love,
💛 Author Gabrielle Denise
Author Gabrielle Denise, Gabrielle Denise, Future Husband, The in my 20’s Diaries, Since When did Single Mean Sad, Christian marriage, Christianity, Christian relationships, Christian relationship tips, marriage preparation for bride, marriage preparation classes, steps in preparing for marriage